The chaos of clutter

Anyone who sits next to me at work or has seen my room knows that I like "stuff". I'm hugely materialistic, sentimental and visual so over the years I have acquired all sorts of things because I like the look of it. As such I cannot be one of those minimalist women on a grand design project leading Kevin McCloud through my show home which has 1 vase in the living room. Pinterest teases me with all sorts of modern homes with Insta-worthy shelves with 3 books, a vintage camera and some inspirational quote poster in a rose gold frame but generally it's the chaotic boho vibes with 5 pot plants too many that I gravitate towards. I like things.

However, recently I have found myself getting stressed out with having so much "stuff". I can't find things when I need it, there's simply more to keep on top of organising and tidying and previously when I purchase new things and not get rid of anything yet not increasing my living space, it got quite overwhelming. I would get so mad when I'm racing around getting ready in the morning convinced that I had only just seen a certain pair of shoes. I also got quite despondent and overwhelmed when my room suddenly became a total mess and the thought of having to organise it filled me with dread. I wouldn't know where to start. I generally just moved things around from one place to another. I just wasn't making progress.

But in a bid to feel like I'm taking more control over my life I decided to sort my shit out. I've started having BIG clear out sessions in the last few months. I was mortified to find I had bank statements from 2005. Absolutely nuts! Why does anyone need to know about the New Look dress I bought THIRTEEN YEARS AGO?! Don't even get me to admit I had payslips from my job when I was 16 years old.

I used to have the fear of throwing a document, a dress, a book away that I might need in the future. Literally a week or so after I cleared out my bank statements and old account documents, I had a thing with HMRC and needed to validate a transaction was made. I didn't have anything anymore to check. But (crazy as it sounds) I went to the bank with ID and asked them to look into their archives and they got it. A black dress I got rid of about 4 years ago, recently I needed something to wear at an event and I planned to get that dress then realised I didn't have it anymore. While I did have an "oooh, that would have been perfect" moment, to only think about it once in 4 years obviously suggests that it wasn't such a loss to my wardrobe. I find that if I keep pushing a top / a skirt past on the hanger, then I clearly don't love it so I get rid. 

I want to make sure I'm balancing out clearing out with impact on landfill. I make sure good quality items and clothes goes to charity, old clothes and shoes go in the clothes bank and I diligently tore the plastic window pane from old envelopes so I can recycle the paper. It's also making me assess, assess and assess again when I'm about to buy something new, do I really need it? I'm still a shopaholic but I feel like being aware of what I buy is something which is new to me. I used to be such a mindless consumer.

All of this is helping me feel calmer about my living space. Like I said, I like having shit around too much but not having loads is making me feel more in control. Even though I didn't notice for 13 years I had all these bank statements and it wasn't as though I was tripping over them, the symbolism of tearing them up and getting it out of the house has had a significantly positive impact on my well-being, like a physical weight was lifted.

But the greatest joy of all of being left with clearly being able to see outfits and jewellery and other things that I have and should use more often. I robotically choose from a small handful of clothes to wear to work but I have so many great things so I'm really making more of an effort to wear more of what I have. I've found old letters and photos and wristbands that hits me with nostalgia so hard I am often in the loft for hours while I moon over the days of my youth.

Even now, my room is starting to get cluttered and build up with stuff I haven't put away. The changing weather makes it hard for me to know if I should have my autumn stuff so just go straight to winter but I know after this, I'm going to get a bit of Hollie Cook going (my new love) playing and sort my shit out and I'll probably keep the winter jumpers far away...for another few weeks anyway.  

Here's me to sparking joy all over the joint *sassy finger snap*

Have you had a clear out recently?