The lowdown on counselling


I've been seeing a counsellor over the last month because the perks at work (some people will realise that I'm being ironic) allows me access to free counselling. I was aware counselling was possible through work and in fact called up about this about 8 months ago when I was struggling with workload but thought at the time "I'll be OK, I don't need it"


Prior to considering seeing the counsellor, I was doing my best to fix my stress. Practising mindfulness, (trying to) cutting down on workload and talking to friends about how I was feeling, I was working through the check list of getting my mental health kicking butt again like I would a training program in the gym but nothing was "working". I was still stressed, still bursting into tears and still a shadow of my former self. Then by pure coincidence when I was having a tidy up, I found the document which gave details on counselling services and I knew this time I was going to take up on it.

These are my thoughts based on my experience. It doesn't mean it's right, just having had a few sessions and reflecting on it.

Before I begin, it's very important to tell you that I did not get to sit in a chaise lounge.

DEVASTATED.

I was clear what I wanted
When I spoke to the initial assessor and subsequently my counsellor, I was very clear that I needed outside help to fix certain behaviours. Yes they are there to listen but if I was just chatting away bitching and moaning with no objective or sense of direction, then it makes it hard for them to give constructive advice that I can do something with. I knew what the end goal / desired state looked like and I needed the tools to incite change and progress.

I gave full transparency
I'm an extrovert, I get energy (not always but mainly) from people around me and I am open about talking about my life, good and bad. Well good on social media (#forthegram) and bad amongst my wonderful circle of family and friends. This works well when talking to a counsellor. Not only do I know that everything I say is confidential but I'm so confident we don't know anyone in common that it's very easy to talk to a stranger knowing it would never get back to my friends and family. So much of my past and how I was raised has an impact on how I react to things later in life. Therefore the more information I gave the more she could give a view on how to manage things.

I can choose what I will do
I don't know much about counselling vs psychotherapy but I know there is the stigma of people saying that "these" types of therapy don't tell you anything, they just get you to talk about yourself. In my counselling sessions I was given suggestions about how to deal / behave / manage a certain situation should it come up again. A lot of suggestions make total sense and I'm enthusiastically looking to apply them outside of our sessions. And sometimes it's not that it doesn't make sense...it's just not in my nature. Those are the tough ones you never thought of because it wasn't in your comfort zone but could give you the response you need. But while she is there to provide a different perspective, I never felt forced into doing anything that didn't feel right.

So, 4 sessions in and 2 to go (before I gotta show the cash) and today my counsellor and I agreed that I've made such excellent progress that I don't need to see her for another month. We agreed not only my body language in our sessions more open and assertive but also the examples I give her of how I have responded at situations outside of the therapy room had shown progress vs when I saw her a month ago. So all in all, I'm really happy with how it's gone / going.

NHS counselling

P.S. I'm not a young person but the quote resonates :-)


Have you thought about going to see a counsellor?

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