Why Being Around Strangers Teaches You More About Yourself

I just spent the last 2 months travelling around a few countries in South America with people I had never met before. That's because my friends aren't as irresponsible as me to take a load of unpaid time off work and as much as I'd love to be one of those to people to travel around myself with a bag containing only 3 pairs of knickers, loose trousers with wild elephant patterns on it and a tie dye vest top and pick friends up along the way by just bumping into like-minded people in the hallway of a hostel, I'm just way too sensible for that so I booked a tour with a company that does all the work for you. Social network and an itinerary sorted. Could I be anymore lazier? Yes. I had a travel agent book the tours and flights for me.




I / travel agent under my bossy instruction booked 2 fat tours, both between 20 - 25 days each which means 3 weeks of being with the same people everyday and 1 part where I'm only spending 5 days with new people. The first tour had 16 people and the second had just 5 people in total.  I couldn't even do any online stalking to see who I'd be spending so much time with.

The thing is, I'm a very sociable extrovert but I don't normally spend time with strangers. I've known my closest friends for at least 14 years. I don't have a job where I'm customer facing / dealing with different people all the time. Then family. God help them for being stuck with a screechy daughter / sister / cousin. Through the years all these people have just had to tolerate me because I'm going nowhere. And all the quirks that I hadn't realised that they graciously accepted is probably totally socially unacceptable to strangers, or they think is just plain weird (like my constant need to go for a wee; never more noticeable than when on holiday together). I also chose a shared room for socialness and budget. So within hours of meeting someone, the first thing you have to deal with is the whole thing that bathroom walls are thin, some don't have windows, some toilets don't flush and some don't have toilet paper. To be honest it was probably better these things were dealt with in the beginning and we can just get on with the rest of our time together.

After that, beyond human nature, it's then personalities. For me, being (very) comfortably in my 30s now, like most 30-somethings, you get to a point where you know what you like and what you're like. You know if you're indecisive, a peace maker, the life and soul of the party or the sarcastic one. You know if you'll be ordering the weird dishes or looking for the burger and chips. Therefore I wasn't surprised that I behaved exactly as I thought I would, without any act or effort.

I'm the person in the group who was normally in the top 10% of the loudest people and unfortunately for some my volume is either loud or silent. I'm the one who tries to be on time but normally comes bursting through the doors at the meeting point late with things spilling out of my bag. I'm the narcissist who likes to take a lot of selfies (my selfie with the llama is hands down the greatest selfie in the history of ever). I'm the awkward British person who's a little on the prim side. Unlike the Australians (god bless them). And for a small person I'm the one who will take over every floor space and shelf going. I felt so sorry for all my roommates who luckily are incredibly easy going people.

However on the other side, I'm the one who's positive and tries to get along with everyone, or at the very least, don't do anything to piss them off. I'm the easy going one, who's happy to go along with the plans but I'm also very decisive if people aren't decisive about what they want to do. I'm also the one with the swiss army knife so I can cut up limes for our home made caipirinhas.

So why else is it good to be around strangers? It never hurts to relearn manners, as sometimes (and I admit to this) we can be complacent around people we are incredibly comfortable with. Also, new people; new blood, new ideas. While I would say that I met some incredibly kind, considerate and funny people like my own lovely friends and family, I didn't meet anyone similar to my own network and that made for thought provoking and inspiring conversations (or at the very least more travel ideas when you hear about where people are from...goddamn always feeling like I'm running out of time to do it all), I was always learning from everyone (including how to play a ukelele).

I'm also comfortable with the person I have become but I know I have the tendency of being quite sensible and when spending time with a bunch of Aussies where zero fucks are given, it's reminded me that I need to stop taking things so seriously at times. Also, as well as hanging around people that you want to hang around, sometimes there are people you don't want to be around. There was an awkward person in our group who I struggled with (not just me). I generally go through life avoiding people with bad energy which is why I think I'm positive but sometimes you just have to because you can't go through life being surrounded by sunshine and inspirational quotes (gotta love those inspirational quotes).

So these strangers who then became acquaintances and some friends, I have shared some of my most wonderful experiences with them and for that they will always form a part of my most happiest memories.

What do you think you're like when you're meeting new people for the first time?