How To Create Your Own Retreat

I defy anyone to not feel calm when seeing this view

"A change of scene will do you good" was once a line only used in Jane Austen novels as a socially acceptable vehicle to frog-march the moody love-struck mademoiselle out of the county in the hope she comes back radiating a "I-don't-need-no-man" attitude (which ironically then wins the affection of the man in question). Now the 21st century patois is "going on a retreat" (with "rehab" as its predecessor).

Darlings, please. This is a little more than just "leave me alone so I can have a boxset marathon". I had been feeling really disconnected from myself and the universe recently and it was going to take more than just a weekend with a few magazines to sort me out. A plan of action was needed and a change of scene would do me good. Dammit, some phrases you just can't shake off.

Originally I started researching going on a yoga retreat but I found it a bit limiting because there were many other things I wanted to do as well. Also, not to mention the cost. As much as you can't put a price on emotional happiness...actually you can and it can be a lot.

So let's start a trend for DIY retreats. That would be shamazing.

Here are some things I wanted to share with you that could help.

#1. Get in the zone

If you can, you need to find a space separate to where you live to go away to. Otherwise you will totally end up doing the laundry. I booked a place on Airbnb. At first I was going to stay in a treehouse but I decided to go for space and comfort (the treehouse is on my bucket list so I will absolutely have to do it. It's a binding requirement when it's a bucket list item). A 2 minute walk to the beach (absolutely necessary for me). Peace and quiet. Bright and airy. Perfect for a relaxing environment.

Can you stay at a friend's place if they're going away for the weekend? Look out for Groupon deals (other discount websites also available). Or even set up a tent in the garden - OH MY GOD why did I not do this.

Welcome to the Fascinated Flamingo Retreat

#2. Set objectives

Maybe it's because I work for the man that objectives sounds a bit heavy-going but really it only means knowing what you want. For me, the act of actually writing it down made me treat it more seriously. For you, you might only have to think about it but make sure you really give this some proper thought and it helps if it's specific. My objectives also sets the conditions of satisfaction - what needs to happen after my retreat for me to feel like this was successful?

#3. Pulse check - before and after

So sorry the man's influence is creeeeeping back again. I wrote how I was feeling before I went away and possible reasons why (in case there might be something I could do while I was away). Then you do the exercise again afterwards. Sometimes you never know progress happened unless it's side by side right in front of you.

#4. Bring tools

Knitting needles, a yoga mat, candles. Whatever you want that helps you deliver what you want to achieve. I said I wanted to do something creative. The stuff below I already had lying around the house but I simply wasn't using it. The watercolour book I bought from a car boot sale for 50p! (the cross-stitch kit I'm pretty sure I was ripped off but it was by a really sweet old man in a haberdashery shop so it's OK).

It was really important to me to connect with myself and the universe better. Journaling has always been a big part of my life. Radical Self Love was a concept I had previously written about which I learnt about from the exuberant Gala Darling. Also, while I was on my retreat I booked to do a reiki and reflexology nearby and in my opinion it's much cheaper and better for the soul than a massage in a beauty parlour.

#5. Remember your intentions

When you remember that this is a retreat, it makes you want to get the most out of it and remind yourself this is a proactive plan to rediscover yourself. Especially if you simply cannot go location wise anywhere other than your home, it can be easy to get distracted - put down the laundry basket!

#6. Your rules, your way

I planned this never expecting anyone to know about it which is the best way because it's unfiltered but I wanted to share this with you because I think it's worthwhile. And I'm not bothered about saying yes, I wanted to connect with the universe and I could get all higher level about it but I also wanted to laugh. I painted my nails. I saw my friends. Basically do whatever you want. No one's judging and if they are, who the f*ck cares?

#guiltypleasure

Make-up free and feeling free

I would love to do this more often and I think through time I will soon tailor it so that I get the most out of it. I  hope this has given you some thought on how you could plan your own retreat. 

What would you love to do most on a retreat?