Why Practising Mindfulness Takes Time But Is So Worth The Effort

I tasked myself recently to practice mindfulness as often as I can within a month. "It'll be a piece of piss" I eloquently told myself. Sit down, get your zen on. Instant calm achieved.



However if there was a way to take a "before" shot of my mind, it would look like the below.

Credit: Pinterest

And mindfulness is about reducing your thoughts (being aware of them without reacting in any particular way is just about allowed) so I suppose it was a rather ambitious undertaking, Kind of like when I tried to cut down my shoes collection recently but all I did was move a pair towards the bin without actually putting it in the bin.

Why did I want to do this? Why does anyone want to reduce their thoughts?

Thoughts where you are likely to have a self-destructive reaction - whether that's anxiety, depression or anger - is bad. Some of my faves include "I'm putting on weight", "I'm unattractive", "That guy just cut me up. What a &^%$&*" (if it's a BMW I usually drop the C-bomb and throw a gesture for good measure). You think about it for ages and get progressively more wound up as the drama in your mind is like a standard 15 minutes of an episode of Eastenders; somewhat entertaining but mainly depressing, fictitious and a waste of time.

Having too many thoughts stops you from paying attention to what is happening at that precise moment. I think about dinner while I'm thinking about lunch. What is that about?!

"But not all thoughts are bad....?"

Thinking about Zac Efron turning up with a bunch of roses ready to fly me to the Bahamas isn't bad. Thinking about what I want in my sandwich isn't bad. However whilst these thoughts are not necessarily bad (in fact thinking about a sausage sandwich on soft white bread with ketchup is sending me in a state of rapture...you notice I think about food a lot) mindfulness is about being aware of all thoughts and letting them pass on. Good and bad. It's when you're actually eating the sausage sandwich on soft white bread and ketchup (with Zac Efron besides you) that you should enjoy those positive feelings.

For me. I had a bit of a tough time at the beginning of the year and I would work myself into a frenzy and fits of tears just based on my thoughts. My friend (super concerned) "Did something happen?" me (*sob sob*) "I was just thinking about x, y, z and now I feel crap about myself" (*hiccup*). For god's sake, get a hold of yourself woman. I was getting upset not because anything had happened that day but just because I thought of something that made me upset.

"Enough is enough!" I sternly told myself. I'm going to do mindfulness and it will stop me getting so bloody emotional all the time.

So how did I get on? I downloaded an app and I let the lady with the very soothing voice tell me what to do. Which basically was "You know you're thinking about something? Right now? Yeah, well stop it and get back to focusing on your breath".

28 times. Go me. Better than 12 the month before. I got into the habit of doing it first thing before I even got out of bed, I would sit up in bed and do it. I also do a lot of travelling for work so sometimes I would do it on the plane when they're doing the safety procedure. At least I won't panic if the plane crashes I guess. 

But guys, I found it really hard to not have thoughts even for 5 minutes. Many days it was like a chore and I felt like a kid sitting through mass twitching to change out of my frilly dress, run free and plaaaaay. A few times I've fallen asleep - that's one creative way of reducing your thoughts. 

However on the other hand there have been changes. Situations where I would have previously reacted strongly to something but now I'm less bothered about it. That doesn't mean I've stopped having any feelings but I'm certainly less extremely angry and extremely sad when I think about things. I'm also learning to pay attention to one thing at a time. 

So what am I saying. That it works? Doesn't work? Am I a serene zen like goddess ("I acknowledge and accept that you drove quickly in front of me in a dangerous manner"). Well I'm generally less mad, sad and anxious when I think about things and I also find myself not mulling things over in my mind. However I've only been practicing for a few months and I still haven't mastered full command of my focus so I guess what I'm saying is that I did it regularly for a month so I can continue to do it for the foreseeable future and see how it goes.

Do you practice mindfulness? How are you finding it?